Part of being aware of your thoughts include paying attention to how you are talking to yourself. Sound hard? Not at all. Here are five ways to self-talk your way out of a tough spot.
1. Change your overall tune.
Chances are, you got into whatever type of “tough spot” you’re in (financial, emotional, life situation, etc) by singing the song that life is hard. It isn’t. It doesn’t have to be. That “life is hard” song is like a top hit from the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s, and even though it’s completely lost its popularity, you keep listening to it. Life absolutely does not have to be hard, and if it is, it is only that way because you have been telling yourself that it is.
How to do it:
Start every day on a new tune by telling yourself something new – tell yourself that things are always improving. We have collectively found so many solutions to our problems, a solution for your particular problem is just around the corner, just minutes away from being found. Life is getting better! Life is easy when you’re in the flow. Tell yourself it simply doesn’t have to be hard.
2. Learn how to cheer yourself up.
You must not rely on anyone or anything else to cheer you up, because that person or thing will never be as consistent as you can be for yourself, once you know how.
How to do it:
Imagine that you have a personal cheer leading team, or a way-to-go aunt or uncle who always cheers you on. What would this person say to you? Even if it sounds ridiculous – like a squad of teenagers shouting “One! Two! Three! Four! Who’s the best one out the door! You are!!” – if it makes you giggle to yourself or smile inside, then do it. Connect with this “positivity team” in your imagination at the start of every day, and whenever you can throughout your day to boost your mood.
3. Start out general.
When you are really in the thick of those tough things, don’t try to affirm your way out with specifics. When you talk to yourself, go general in order to turn from negativity to positivity.
How to do it:
Look at the core of the area of life where your problem exists – relationships, health, financial, or personal – and go as general and as positive as possible. For a health problem, you might try: “hey, six feet above ground is better than below!” For a relationship problem: “I have lots of friends and all sorts of people like to be with me.” For a financial problem: “Things really are going to turn around any day. The good thing about being at the bottom is that the only way out is up!” For business trouble: “All the big successful people and companies went through tough times before making it big…” Use whatever general, optimistic thoughts you can find to tell yourself.
4. Trick yourself.
Let’s face it, we do this all the time anyway, so we might as well harness this ability for our good. Rather than slanting things to the negative, make a conscious effort to slant them to the positive and trick yourself into thinking things are better than they may actually be right now. Your life will improve to match your “tricked” version of reality.
How to do it:
Whenever you are feeling down, ask yourself what thoughts you have been thinking for the last few minutes. Take any negative aspects of those thoughts and focus on the positive equivalent. You can always decide to be happy, in whatever situation you find yourself.
5. Do Something Fun.
Okay, so this is more than talk, but it can often be the best mood-lifter and doesn’t have to be expensive or time consuming. We often “punish ourselves” (for all sorts of things) by not allowing ourselves to have or do that one little pleasure that we enjoy so much.
How to do it:
Let yourself have that reward now, even though you may not have quite reached whatever goal you had set. Stop holding yourself away from fun as a punishment! Go and do something you really love – that you can really lose yourself in – and don’t regret it for a second. Use all five tips above and watch your life swing around! (Photo credit: Young Man with a Mirror via Shutterstock)
