You may feel like you are attracting all the wrong people, but in fact you are attracting the right people that you need in that moment in time.
We are socialized to believe that there is one person out there who is supposed to complete us. One person who we are supposed to meet and spend the rest of our lives with. For some people, attracting this person is a reality and, whether it is a choice and daily compromise, a commitment is made to form a union with one other person and see it through — no matter what and til the end of your days. However, true and long-lasting love is not a given for everybody. The reality is that it is healthy to have romantic encounters throughout our lives, particularly in our youth and formative years, to help us understand who we truly are and who we want to become. Loving relationships, whether sexual or platonic, teach us about ourselves. They give us the tools to understand what it means to truly connect with another human being on an emotional, physical, and intellectual level. They teach us to compromise and cooperate by negotiating our own needs with the needs of another. You may feel like you are attracting all the wrong people, but in fact you are attracting the right people that you need in that moment in time. Sometimes, if you love someone, you have to set them free.
Gradually we stop indulging in the need to please others and learn to do what is in our own best interest.
Being true to ourselves is not as easy as it sounds and it is something that needs to be practiced and learned as we grow up. When we are young, we do what we are told, what our parents and teachers tell us. The older we get, the more self determination we develop. We ask questions. We see things from our own perspectives and learn to make up our own minds. We use our experiences and our resourcefulness to guide us and, while taking others’ advice and influence on board, we think critically and develop the ability to make rational decisions. This means that gradually we stop indulging in the need to please others and learn to do what is in our own best interest. This doesn’t imply that we are selfish or self absorbed. It instead alludes to becoming a self reliant and independent, free-thinking individual, who can make their own decisions and prioritize their own happiness and satisfaction. The truer you are to yourself, and the more you respect your own wishes, the harder it becomes to tolerate the wrong people. Attracting the right people becomes inevitable.
